


my heart will go on (we'll stay forever this way)

by blackrose1002, BlackVultures



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Organ Transplantation, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 17:04:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20450570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures
Summary: Jack looked at him for a moment before dropping his gaze to his feet and smiling, a chuckle rumbling out of him. “I should’ve known you’d be even more bullheaded than I was about this,” he said, and Mac would have taken offense except it was true that they were both incredibly stubborn… but again, he felt like he was missing something. “It’s not just because I’m too old, hoss. It’s because I’m too old and I’ve had an organ transplant.”That… caught Mac off guard and it was about the last thing he had expected Jack to say like… ever. “What?”(Or the one where Jack had a heart transplant when he was sixteen and he never told anyone.)





	my heart will go on (we'll stay forever this way)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello! Sammy and I are on fire as you can see, putting fics together faster than ever! Don't get used to it.
> 
> Anyway, here we go again with this wonderfully painful fic - oh yes, it is painful, you'll see. There's some medical stuff in here that may not be 100% accurate, we're not doctors, so if something doesn't work just... ignore it.
> 
> Also, we played with the timeline a little. We know that the show stated Jack graduated high school in 1993, but in this fic it happened later because of Jack's health problem. Also, we checked, you can try to enlist after having an organ transplant and while it's not easy, it's possible.
> 
> The title is from the song "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.
> 
> I was the one to put it together and I was too tired to read it all of it, so I'll fix any typos later, I promise. Oh, and... I made myself cry twice, the first time when we wrote it and the second time when I was putting it together, so... you have been warned.

Mac’s fingers were tapping on the steering wheel in the rhythm to some song playing on the radio as he was coming back home from a grocery run. He didn’t drive his old truck too often, so it felt almost weird, but he kind of didn’t have a choice – it was their day off and Riley had some plans with Leanna, and Jack was… somewhere. Mac wasn’t sure if he was being honest, all he knew was that Jack had been acting pretty cagey recently. Things had been a little off between them after Mac had gotten back from Nigeria, but they had gotten better after a while and Mac thought they were okay now… but there was something weird in Jack’s behavior in the last few weeks.

As he was getting closer to his house, he suddenly noticed Jack’s GTO on his driveway and while Jack coming over like that used to be something normal, he hadn’t really done that since Nigeria. But Mac figured that since they were better now, maybe Jack would go back to all of his old habits, so he parked the truck next to the GOT and headed inside after grabbing the groceries.

“Jack?” he called out as soon as he was in the door, kicking off his boots almost immediately. “Where are you, man?” No response, so Mac took a peek through the back window and spotted his partner sitting on the deck with a beer in his hand, staring out at the LA skyline. He couldn’t see Jack’s face from the angle, but just the set of his shoulders alone told Mac something wasn’t right. He put away the refrigerated stuff and grabbed a beer for himself, leaving the rest of the food out on the counter and heading outside. “Hey,” he said, trying for casual, because if Jack was going back to old patterns there was no reason Mac couldn’t too. “You should’ve texted me, I would’ve stopped to get pizza or something on my way back from the store.”

Jack looked up and blinked a few times as if he was surprised to see Mac there, even though Mac was sure Jack had heard him come in. “Oh, well, I… kinda didn’t think of that,” he said, going back to staring ahead and his voice sounded… off. It was almost completely neutral and that was just not right – Jack was such an expressive person and for him to be so… blank, that wasn’t normal. “Sorry for barging in like that, I just… was driving and suddenly I ended up here.”

“Jack, you know you’re welcome here anytime,” Mac said… and he _hoped_ Jack knew that, but it was good to say it anyway. “Is something wrong? You seem… off.” He sat down next to Jack near the fire pit and rubbed absently at his thigh through his jeans. It had been a few weeks since he had gotten shot on that survival trip gone wrong with Bozer and Riley, and while the stitches had come out the wound still itched inside because it was healing.

“Nah, man, I’m-“ Jack started, but suddenly stopped talking and when Mac glanced at him, his eyes were closed and there was a frustrated look on his face. “Actually, no, I’m not good.” Mac didn’t let it show, but his heart fluttered inside his chest. Jack was clearly going to lie and say he was fine when he obviously wasn’t, but he had changed his mind… maybe they really were going back to normal. “I’m… one of my old assignments came to bite me in the ass,” he sighs, taking another sip of his beer, and Mac stayed quiet, knowing how much Jack hated talking about his old Delta and CIA missions. “A man that was supposed to be dead turned out to be very much alive.”

“Is this the same guy you and Matty were talking about when you came to visit me in the hospital a couple weeks ago?” Mac asked, and when Jack nodded, he pressed, “So that picture you got sent turned out to be real?”

“Yeah, it did. Kovacs is alive… and as it turns out, I won’t be doing a damn thing about it,” Jack said, and that… didn’t make any sense.

“But… why not?” Mac was confused, which was something that didn’t happen often. “There must be a strike team or something, right? Wouldn’t they want you to lead it since you know the most about him?”

“That’s what I thought.” Jack took a pull off his beer and looked… disappointed, but also angry. “Turns out that’s not the case.”

“But why?” Mac asked, trying to understand and failing. Jack was the best of the best and he was already familiar with this man, so he should have been the obvious choice for the mission to find him again. “You’re the best out there, why wouldn’t they put you on the team?” A small, selfish part of Mac was glad Jack wouldn’t be leaving for any kind of assignment without him to watch his back, but mostly, he just hated to see that disappointed look on Jack’s face.

“I’m too old,” Jack said, and that… that didn’t make any sense and Mac blinked, momentarily dumbstruck.

“What?” he said after a lengthy pause. “That’s what they told you? That you’re too old to lead a strike team? Do they not know what your job is?”

Jack shrugged his shoulders, setting the beer down in favor of rubbing at his chest through his t-shirt, where Mac knew he had a long, ropey scar. “I yelled at the dude for like a half-hour, didn’t do me any good. The brass says it’s a no go, so they’re finding Kovacs without me.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Mac snorted, and Jack looked at him in surprise. “What? I meant what I said, you’re the best, and they’re gonna have a hard time finding the guy without your help.” He meant every word, he knew how valuable Jack was as an asset. “Hey, wait a second, what about Matty? Maybe she could talk to them, work her magic?” By that Mac meant threatening and scaring the CIA, in the way only Matty was capable of. “Or maybe the Phoenix could join the search? We could all work on this and this way you’d be involved too.”

Jack looked at him for a moment before dropping his gaze to his feet and smiling, a chuckle rumbling out of him. “I should’ve known you’d be even more bullheaded than I was about this,” he said, and Mac would have taken offense except it was true that they were both incredibly stubborn… but again, he felt like he was missing something. “It’s not just because I’m too old, hoss. It’s because I’m too old and I’ve had an organ transplant.”

That… caught Mac off guard and it was about the last thing he had expected Jack to say like… ever. “What?” he asked after a moment, sure he must have misheard somehow. Jack had gotten hurt many times since they had known each other, but never bad enough to need any kind of transplant. “Jack, what? What are you talking about?” he asked, staring wide-eyed at his partner, and his brain was kind of refusing to work, and Mac didn’t think he had ever been that shocked.

“Relax, it was before I met you,” Jack said, like he could see Mac’s mind was twisting itself into knots. “Way before, actually – I was still in high school when I had the surgery.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth like needed to think about what he wanted to say. “I was born with a congenital heart defect, one that was gonna kill me eventually unless I got a new heart. I’d been on the transplant list since the day I was born, but it wasn’t until my sixteenth birthday that we got the call. A lady died in car accident, and she was an organ donor – a perfect match for little ol’ me. Docs didn’t even know if I’d survive the surgery, let alone after that… but I was a miracle case. Took all my anti-rejection drugs, and by the time I was twenty and decided to enlist I had zero side effects.” He rubbed at his chest again. “If it wasn’t for the scar, you’d never know it happened.”

Mac continued staring at Jack, a million thoughts racing in his head. “You… you had a heart transplant?” he repeated quietly, his own heart pounding, and he… he still couldn’t believe this. “You never… you never said anything. I asked you about your scar so… so many times and you never told me.” His chest tightened painfully because Jack apparently hadn’t thought he could have told him about such an important part of him, not just after Nigeria, but also before, when they had told each other everything. Well, almost everything, but Mac’s feelings for Jack were not something Mac should be thinking about now.

Jack sighed, and when he looked at Mac there was an apology in his eyes. “I didn’t tell you when we first met because… well, I didn’t want you to worry that I was gonna drop dead or something while I was watching your back… and I guess that’s the excuse I kept using.” He shifted a little closer to Mac, so their legs were touching. “I didn’t want you to see me any differently. And it’s not just you who didn’t know… I’d imagine Matty and your old man do since they’ve read my file, but Riley and Bozer don’t know either.”

“I’m… I get that, I guess,” Mac said slowly, and he did get it when he thought about it. It still hurt, but… there was a chance he might have been nervous about Jack watching his back when they had first met and he hadn’t known Jack. “I get why you didn’t tell me when we first met, but… Jack, you should have told me later.” Mac tried to ignore the way their thighs were touching and how that touch was sending sparks down his spine. “What if you got hurt and I tried to help you and whatever I did was bad for your heart? Or what if something else happened?”

“You’re right,” Jack said. “I should’ve told you once we got to know each other, and that’s on me.” He put his hand on Mac’s knee and squeezed briefly. “I’m sorry. We good?”

“Of course we are,” Mac replied immediately, nudging Jack with his shoulder. “And if I’m being honest too… I’m kinda glad you aren’t going on an assignment without me. Because I have a feeling this would’ve been a ‘no Mac’ assignment, right?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want you anywhere near Kovacs, he’s a real bad dude.” Jack hadn’t moved his hand off Mac’s knee, and Mac wasn’t about to shake him off, so he stayed still. “And for the record, I’ve never had a problem with my heart in the field… except maybe for that time I electrocuted myself. The aftermath of that wasn’t so fun.”

Mac remembered that and while he had been worried when it had happened, now he was even more concerned. “Shit,” he breathed out. “You’re okay though, right? It didn’t cause any permanent damage?” Jack’s hand was warm and heavy on his knee, but Mac was doing his absolute best trying not to think about it. He was more preoccupied with Jack putting his health – his heart – on the line just so that Mac’s plan would have worked, and that was not a nice feeling.

Jack’s hand squeezed his knee again. “I’m fine.” When Mac looked unconvinced, Jack rolled his eyes. “You might be the genius in this partnership, but I’m not an idiot. I went to the doctor right after that mission was over and got checked out. I’m healthy as a horse, I promise.” He nudged Mac’s shoulder with his own, grinning a little. “I know you’re hoping I’ll croak so you can get your hands on my t-shirt collection, but you ain’t getting rid of me that easy.”

Mac breathed in a little easier because he trusted Jack and he knew that he would have taken something like that seriously. “Nah, man, I’d be more interested in your cars,” he said with a grin that only widened when Jack looked at him in horror. “You know, there are some parts I need that I could get from them- I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He laughed loudly when Jack punched him in the shoulder. “I promise to never hurt your precious babies,” he said solemnly, but with a small smirk on his face, and Jack just rolled his eyes… and this felt just like them, even despite the unexpected revelation. “Jack, you… you should probably tell Riley though,” he added after a moment, not sure if he was overstepping or not.

“You’re probably right,” Jack admitted, and they were leaning against each other now, sitting together in a way they hadn’t in a long time. “Maybe you could invite everybody over for dinner? If I do it they’ll think something’s wrong.”

“Okay, sure,” Mac agreed, and he took out his phone and put the invite into the group chat. Almost immediately he got agreements and offers to bring food and drinks from everybody, even his dad. “Apparently we’re having pizza but also tacos,” he told Jack after a minute. “Oh, and my dad’s bringing the beer. Hope you’re hungry.”

“You know I always am, hoss.” Jack grinned, that handsome grin Mac loved so much and dreamed about sometimes. Mac smiled back because he couldn’t not, and then they were just… talking and bickering like they used to do and it was nice. It didn’t mean Mac had forgotten about Jack’s heart, but he pushed it back for now, promising himself to look into it later, read everything he could about heart transplants and treatment… and maybe after Jack told Riley, maybe he would get her to help him hack Jack’s medical records just to know exactly what had happened to him. He knew it sounded extreme, but that was how Mac was – when there was a problem, he needed all the data about it that he could gather.

As luck would have it, Riley and Leanna were the first ones to show up even after stopping to pick up Bozer and some food. Mac and Jack greeted them together, and Mac ushered Bozer and Leanna into the kitchen to get the food set up on the counter. He told them he was going out to the garage freezer to get more ice and managed to stop by the living room, where Jack was in the middle of telling Riley about the heart transplant. She looked as shocked as Mac was but pulled herself together quickly, leaning in to punch Jack on the shoulder before giving him a hug. “Did you tell my mom?” she asked, and Jack shook his head.

“Not even her, baby girl. I kept it close to my chest – pun intended – for so long that it kinda became second nature. Mac just found out today.”

Riley looked up just as Mac was passing by and she gave him a small, grateful smile – it was clear she knew he had been the one to push Jack to tell her the truth. Mac smiled back and disappeared, wanting to give them some privacy, and that was also when his dad and Matty came through the front door – together, _again_. It had been happening more often lately, and Mac couldn’t help but wonder if there was something going on there… but maybe he didn’t really wanted to know. Of course he wanted both of them to be happy, and after the mess with Ethan Mac knew Matty was in a vulnerable place, which is not somewhere she liked to be. He had a hard time imagining his dad being with anybody else besides his mom… but it had been a long time, and he knew she would have wanted James to be happy.

He did actually go to get ice and rejoined the group, and they wound up eating standing up in the kitchen because apparently everyone was starving. Once the party moved to the deck, Mac waited until Riley went inside to use the bathroom and waited for her in the hall. “Sorry, I know this is creepy,” Mac started, smiling when she just waved off the apology. “But I was wondering… did you bring your rig?”

“Yeah… why?” Riley asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Could you hack into Jack’s doctor’s office and get his medical records?” Mac asked, wringing his fingers together. “I just… I’d feel better if I could read everything myself, you know?”

The look on Riley’s face softened and she patted his shoulder. “I get it. And honestly…” she trailed off with a small shrug. “I think I’d feel better if you read it and told me he’s going to be okay?” she said, a little questioning note at the end of the sentence, and Mac immediately nodded. “Alright, that shouldn’t be too hard…” she muttered as they went to the living room where her backpack was and she got her laptop out. Mac kept an eye on the deck, but it looked like everyone was having fun, not even looking for them. Riley was muttering something to herself, her fingers dancing around on the keyboard… and after the moment she closed her rig with a smirk on her face. “Done. I sent the file to your email, so you can check it out whenever you want.”

Mac wrapped his arms around her in a hug, pressing his face into her hair briefly. He had always wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister, and now that he knew Riley, he had gotten a pretty good idea. “Thanks, Riles,” he murmured, smiling when she hugged him back. Then they headed back out and rejoined the group, and it was a fantastic night. They barely talked about work, and instead James told some outlandish story about rescuing whales while he had been in college, and that shifted into a script Bozer had written about whale-people, and it was… really fun.

Time was flying, but eventually it got late enough that everyone started to get ready to head out. Mac and his dad put out the fire in the fire pit while the other took care of the empty boxes, bottles, and plates. They all said goodbye, exchanging hugs and pats on the shoulders, and Mac’s heart stuttered when Jack hugged him longer and tighter than he had lately. As always, he couldn’t help but think what it would be like to be so close to Jack in other circumstances, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his head.

Once everyone was gone, Mac headed to his bedroom and turned on his laptop and inbox, and after taking one last deep breath, he opened the file. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous about this, probably because he was kind overstepping, but… he just needed to know. He started from the beginning, obviously, and when he read about all the testing Jack had to have done at such a young age it made him tear up a little. The Jack he knew had always been tough, but he couldn’t have imagined how tough he had needed to be as a kid. Apparently Jack’s health and prospects had been getting progressively worse, until a viable donor had come up right when he had turned sixteen. She had been a car crash victim, just like Jack had said, and her name was…

Mac froze, staring at his laptop screen with unblinking eyes. He wasn’t even breathing, because this had to be some kind of mistake, or a misprint. He blinked once, hard, and read it again, his hands beginning to tremble as he brought them to his mouth to muffle a gut-wrenching sob.

According to Jack’s medical records, the heart he had received had come all the way from California – from Camille MacGyver.

Mac stared at the name on the screen until he couldn’t see it anymore because his vision blurred with tears. Breathing was getting harder with each passing second, but Mac forced himself to gulp in some air, but his chest felt tight and he couldn’t muffle the next sob that tore out from his throat. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he couldn’t believe that his mom… he bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hoping that maybe curling up like this would make it hurt less. He was only four when his mom had died in a car accident, but he remembered her quite well and he remembered how much he loved her and how… broken he was after she had died. Nothing had ever been the same after that, his dad had been growing more and more distant with every day until he finally had left Mac with his grandfather. Mac knew his mom was an organ donor, but he… he had never expected something like this.

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening echoed around the house and Mac froze when he heard Jack’s voice call out, ”Hey, Mac, it’s me again! Haven’t you seen my phone around here somewhere?”

Panic lanced down Mac’s spine, and he slammed his laptop closed. He tried to speak, sobbed instead, and scrubbed at his face to try and get rid of the tears. He couldn’t let Jack know anything was wrong, because if he found out Mac had Riley get his medical records behind his back it was going to be another screw-up on Mac’s part, and their friendship would go right back in the shitter where it had been before tonight. He cleared his throat and willed his voice not to shake when he raised it: “Check the deck! Maybe you left it outside?”

Jack was quiet for a moment that seemed hours long for Mac, but then he heard the sound of footsteps heading for the deck. He moved away from the windows, not wanting Jack to see him, and he wiped his face again, breathing in and out deeply a few times. His hands were still shaking and he had to do something about, because otherwise everything was ruined. “Got it!” Jack called out triumphantly a moment later, and Mac knew he had to go and see him out, otherwise Jack would get suspicious. He walked out of his bedroom and reached the door just as Jack came back from the deck, and the smile immediately faded from his face. “Mac? What’s wrong?” he asked, and Mac cursed Jack's ability to read him like an open book.

As he stared at Jack, he imagined the heart inside him – his mom’s heart beating, and he felt something crumple on his face, but he wasn’t about to give up without a fight. “N-nothing’s wrong, Jack. I’m good.”

Jack stepped closer, shoving his phone in his pocket so he could put both hands on Mac’s shoulders. They were warm and heavy through the material of Mac’s shirt. “This doesn’t look like nothing,” he said softly, concern visible in the furrow of his brow. “What’s going on, Mac?” And Mac opened his mouth to speak, to deflect, but he just couldn’t force out any words - they got stuck in his throat, caught around another sob that he couldn’t control. He threw himself into Jack, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his shoulder. He felt Jack’s arms close around him a second later, and that made him start crying all over again. “Hey, hey, shhh,” Jack murmured near his ear, one hand sliding up to rest on the back of Mac’s neck. “Whatever’s wrong, we’ll figure it out together. Just like always.”

Mac just shook his head against Jack’s shoulder and cried even harder. He wasn’t even sure why, it shouldn’t… it shouldn’t hurt like that, but it did and he just couldn’t stop. He felt his knees give out, but Jack’s strong arms kept him up, although he shifted them a little, leaning his back against the door, and then Jack slid down, lowering them both on the floor. Mac just curled into him more, pressing his face into Jack’s neck as his body shook violently with more sobs that were ripping out of his throat. Jack’s arms tightened around him and he slid one of his hands into his hair, gently brushing his fingers through the strands and just holding him without saying anything. Eventually Mac managed to calm down a little, his sobbing subsiding to quiet sniffling, but he didn’t move away, keeping his arms around Jack and his face buried in his neck. “Mac, buddy,” Jack started quietly after a moment, his voice strained, and it dawned on Mac how off guard all of this must have caught Jack. Mac never really cried, certainly not like that, so he couldn’t blame Jack for being worried. “Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

Mac had to work to find his voice, and when he spoke it sounded like he had been gargling glass shards. “I… I asked Riley to hack into your medical records,” he said, and when he felt Jack tense for a fraction of a second he hurried to add, “Not because I didn’t believe what you told me! Because I was… worried, still, and I thought I would feel better if I could read it myself.”

Jack relaxed again, the hand that wasn’t stroking through Mac’s hair rubbing slowly up and down his back. “Okay… if it were anybody else I’d be pissed,” he started, and Mac made a sheepish sound. “But I know you need to work things out in your head sometimes, and the only way to do that is with all the info. I still don’t get how that led to you bawling your eyes out.”

Mac was quiet for a moment, swallowing hard and wondering how to tell Jack the truth. Even thinking about it made him tear up again and he took a deep breath, shifting a little and changing his grip on Jack so that he was clutching his t-shirt… and that put one of his hands directly above his heart. “I’m…” he started, but he struggled with words, so after another breath he tried again. “Have I ever told you how my mom died?”

Jack thought for a moment before he shook his head. “No, you haven’t. You… I think I can count the amount of times you’ve talked about her on one hand, and those were all good memories.”

“It was a car accident,” Mac told him, slow and deliberate, having to pick out each word from his jumbled mind. “She liked sports cars, and my dad bought her a Ferrari for her birthday that year. No child seats, so she had to wait to take it out until my grandfather was around to watch me.” He forced himself to breathe deeply, evenly, to not sob again. “She was in a head-on crash on the Pacific Coast Highway… and she died at the hospital, probably in a lot of pain.” He squeezed his eyes shit and pulled back far enough to look at Jack when he opened them again. “She was an organ donor.”

Jack looked back at him and Mac could see that he didn’t get it, not yet. “I’m sorry, man. All that organ talk must have brought the memories back,” he said sympathetically, but Mac just shook his head.

“No, Jack, that’s… my mom, she… she died in 1993. July.”

Jack stopped breathing for a moment. “That’s… that’s the same time I…” he started, his grip on Mac tightening. He started trembling a little, and his eyes flicked all over Mac’s face, like he was searching for something. “I never… I never asked the donor’s name, but they put it in my records in case I ever had a problem down the road,” he whispered, and to Mac’s alarm his face went white. “Are you telling me… are you saying I have your mom’s heart?”

Jack saying it out loud made it so much harder not to start crying again, and Mac couldn’t stop his eyes from filling with tears again. Not able to form any words, he just nodded, his lower lip trembling as he desperately tried not to let out the sob that was threatening to rip out of his throat. Jack’s face went even paler if that was possible and he was staring at Mac with wide eyes… and to Mac’s horror his grip on Mac started loosening.

“Mac, I… you’ve gotta believe me, I had no idea,” Jack said, and there was a slightly hysterical note to his voice, the words tumbling out of his in a rush. “I’m so sorry, you must… you must hate me.”

“What?” Mac breathed out, shock making him ignore the fresh tears streaking down his face. “Jack, I could never hate you. It… it’s not like it’s your fault she died.” Jack’s lips moved, but no words came out and the look on his face was truly distraught. Sniffling, Mac moved closer and framed Jack’s face with his hands to make him look at him, a gesture that was getting a little too close to exposing Mac’s feelings for Jack, but he was too emotionally unstable to care. “Jack, listen to me. I don’t hate you, why… why would I?” He cleared his throat when his voice croaked a little. “It just… I reacted like this because it caught me off guard. I… I never expected this.”

“Me neither,” Jack said quietly, the hand he had in Mac’s hair coming around to hold one of his wrists. Not to move his hand off his face, just to hold it, thumb rubbing against bone. “I should’ve at least found out her name, but I… the whole thing was so weird, man. The idea of getting a heart from someone else was… surreal, and I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Like… why should I get to live when that person had to die? It was part of what made me enlist.”

“My mom always loved helping people,” Mac said softly, his hands sliding to Jack’s neck so that he could rub his jaw with his thumbs. “I obviously don’t really remember that, but that’s what my grandfather always told me. When I got older he explained the organ donor thing… and it always made sense to me that she was one.” He smiled shakily and his hands trembled a little. “Still, there were moments when I… I was angry that her organs got to live on, but she didn’t. But now…” he trailed off, another lone tear rolling down his cheek. “To think that if it wasn’t for her I never would’ve had you, that’s…” He didn’t really have a word for it, so he didn’t finish. He also belatedly realized that he had implied he had Jack and that Jack was his, but it was too late to take it back now.

Jack’s hand slid up his arm, hesitating for only a second before it touched his face, thumbing away the wetness on Mac’s cheek. “If it wasn’t for her, I never would’ve had you either,” he murmured, and that made Mac’s own heart pound double-time in his chest – there was no way Jack was saying what he thought he was saying, right? Those brown eyes were searching his face, but this time… this time it felt different. “Please feel free to punch me if I’m reading this the wrong way,” he whispered, and then he was leaning in, pressing his lips to Mac’s in a gentle, sweet kiss.

Mac made a small wounded sound that was more like a sob and he instantly kissed Jack back. He slid his arms around Jack’s neck and pulled him closer, parting his lips when he felt Jack tongue press against his lower one. He sighed when Jack deepened the kiss and tightened his arm around Mac’s waist, their tongues slowly sliding together. Eventually breathing became necessary, and Mac broke the kiss, his hands cradling Jack’s jaw. “I’m not gonna punch you,” he said, slow and slightly dazed, and smiled a little when Jack chuckled. He couldn’t believe this was happening – he had been in love with Jack for so long, had wanted to hold him and touch him like this, and it felt even better than he had imagined it would. “How… how long have you wanted to do that?”

“Years,” Jack whispered, looking at Mac in wonder, his eyes softer than Mac had ever seen them. “I’m… I love you so much, I’ve loved you since the Sandbox.”

“I… I love you too,” Mac breathed out, still not sure he wasn’t actually dreaming. “We’re idiots. I’ve… I’ve wanted this for so long, but I never thought you might… you might want that too.”

“Fuck,” Jack said quietly, and he was thinking the same thing Mac was – that they had wasted so much time with people who weren’t right for them because they had been too afraid to take a risk. “If I knew, I would’ve kissed you senseless after Lake Como. Watching you fall like that was one of the worst moments of my life.” He kissed Mac again, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Who would’ve thought it’d be my damn transplant that made us pull our heads out of our asses?”

“I can’t believe this,” Mac said quietly, because he still couldn’t wrap his mind around this. He slid his hands lower to Jack’s chest, but then before he reached the sport where he knew Jack’s scar was he took his hands away so they were hovering a few inches away. “Jack, I’m… can I…”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Jack said, and he disentangled himself from Mac long enough to take off his shirt. He was in ridiculously good shape, every muscle well-defined, and while he had plenty of scars, the one that stood out the most is the eight inch long scar that ran vertically down the middle of his chest. It was thin and white, the middle raised slightly and the skin around the edges a light pink color. Mac set his fingertips on it tentatively and didn’t miss how Jack shivered under his touch. He traced the scar slowly, trying to imagine how it must have felt for a sixteen year old Jack to have this surgery and later not even knowing if he would be okay. When he reached the end of the scar he swallowed hard and then put his shaking hand flatly on Jack’s chest and… he could feel his heart beat steadily inside, pumping blood and keeping Jack alive. His mom’s heart was keeping Jack alive and Mac exhaled shakily, his vision blurring again despite his best efforts.

“C’mere,” Jack muttered, sliding his arms around Mac’s shoulders. He pulled him close, and a gentle hand on the side of Mac’s head pushed until Mac’s ear was pressed against Jack’s chest. And Mac had heard plenty of heartbeats, but this one… this one was familiar in a visceral way. He shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist, holding him close and just… listening.

“I miss her so much,” he admitted, his thumb stroking over the skin of Jack’s lower back. “Every day. It’s something my dad and I actually agree on. When we were standing in that burning lab and I asked him why he left, do you know what he told me? That I looked too much like my mom, and he couldn’t stand to look at me.”

Mac felt Jack tense underneath him and his arms tightened around him. He slowly exhaled as if he was trying not to get angry. “That’s… I’m sorry darlin’, but that’s bullshit,” he said, and Mac couldn’t help but smile at this blunt declaration. “It shouldn’t have mattered. And besides… that’s exactly the reason why he should’ve wanted to stay. You were the part of her he could’ve kept, the most precious part. By leaving you… he lost her completely.” By the time Jack was done talking Mac was speechless and his eyes started burning _again_ (he didn’t remember the last time he had cried so damn much).

He swallowed hard and squeezed Jack tighter, breathing in his smell – leather and gunpowder, which had always made him feel safe – and listened to the steady thump thump of his heart. Of his mom’s heart. “You’re right,” he said. “If he’d stayed… things would’ve been really different.” He tilted his head back to look at Jack. “But then I might not have met you, and that… that would be kind of bullshit too.”

“You’re right, but… I still wish you hadn’t gone through so much heartbreak. You didn’t deserve.” If Jack kept saying things like that Mac was afraid he was going to melt. Before he could reply thought, Jack was leaning down to press their lips together again, kissing him so gently like Mac was the most precious thing he had and was afraid of breaking him. Mac kissed back, of course he did, and he moved up a little, not wanting Jack’s neck to hurt from the weird angle.

The way they were sitting meant Mac was practically in Jack’s lap, or he would be if Jack’s legs were together. Instead they were on either side of him, bracketing him in along with Jack’s arms, and Mac had never felt safer. He shifted and wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck again, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and making a soft sound when their tongues slide together. The warmth of affection flooded through him, with maybe just a hint of lust thrown in, and he pulled back enough to speak: “Did you want to go back to your apartment? Or do you want to stay here with me?”

Jack leaned in again to give him another short kiss on the mouth before moving to kiss Mac’s jaw. “I mean, I was planning to head back…” he muttered, moving his lips to Mac’s neck and leaving a trail of soft kisses behind. “But now there ain’t no way I’m leaving, if that’s cool with you.” Mac couldn’t help but shiver, moaning softly when Jack nipped on the side of his neck, his arms tightening around Mac to make sure he stayed as close as possible.

“I’m… I’m not gonna complain if you stay,” Mac managed to say, fingers scratching through the short hair at the back of Jack’s neck. He let Jack explore his skin for a while before pulling him back up for another kiss, and when they needed to breathe he stood up, pulling Jack with him. It was a good opportunity to press Jack against the door and devour his mouth, which was exactly what Mac did, and while there was heat behind every action, it wasn’t frantic or rushed in the slightest. Jack groaned into Mac’s mouth when Mac pressed their bodies as close as possible. His hands were slowly stroking Mac’s back up and down and after a moment he slid both of them to grope Mac’s ass, squeezing it and using his grip to press their hips together. Mac moaned a little in response, slotting his thigh between Jack’s and grinding forward. He broke the kiss to trail his lips over Jack’s cheek and jaw to his ear, nibbling at the lobe before he spoke. “Want to take this to my room?” he asked, and when Jack nodded he smiled, pulling back and taking Jack’s hand.

They walked to the bedroom, and it felt so… right, like a piece of Mac’s personal puzzle had finally slotted into place. He used his grip on Jack’s hand to toss him down on the bed and followed a second later, crawling on top of him and reattaching them at the mouth. One of Jack’s hands immediately settled back on Mac’s ass, squeezing it again while his other hand stroked Mac’s back between his shoulder blades. After a moment Mac broke the kiss, brushing his lips against Jack’s stubble before moving lower to his neck. Jack let out a deep groan when Mac sucked a bruise into his skin, nipping and licking as he shifted a little to suck another one near his pulse point.

As soon as he scraped his teeth over Jack’s throat he felt himself getting rolled so he was on his back, Jack looming over him, eyes dark with desire. “You’re so damn gorgeous,” he rumbled, the backs of his fingers brushing Mac’s cheek. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my hands off you for so long?” Mac blushed a little and bit his lower lip before grabbing Jack’s shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. It lasted for way too short and Mac whined when Jack pulled back, but Jack just smirked and sat up, straddling Mac’s hips and looking so damn delicious with his perfect abs that Mac felt his mouth water. “I’m kinda feeling lonely here, baby,” Jack said, running his hands up Mac’s chest and starting to work on the buttons of his shirt. He wasn’t rushing it on purpose, watching Mac with those dark eyes and such an intense gaze that it made Mac blush even more.

Mac blinked up at him, smiling a little when Jack got frustrated by the buttons. “You okay there, big guy?” he asked, and Jack grunted at him, finally getting the last one undone and swearing when he realized Mac was wearing a t-shirt underneath it.

“Seriously, man?” he whined when Mac just laughed, sitting up a little so that Jack could slide the shirt off his shoulders and toss it aside. “Though I have to admit I kinda like unwrapping you like a Christmas present,” he said with a small smirk, and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and yanked it over Mac’s head. Once the t-shirt joined the shirt on the floor, Jack lied back on top of Mac and crashed their lips together, bracing his weight on one forearm while he slid his other arm under Mac’s back to pull him closer.

Mac loved being this close to Jack, to his warmth and the strength in those impressive muscles. He slid his arms around Jack’s shoulders and pulled him down, not minding the weight on top of him in the slightest. He did spread his legs though, groaning when he felt the hardness of Jack’s cock pressing against his own through the layers of their jeans. If that was anything to go by, Jack was big, which only turned Mac on more. Jack’s breath hitched a little and he rolled his hips down, grinding them together again. It felt amazing, but Mac needed more, so he slid his hands lower and moved them to the front of Jack’s jeans, toying with the button. Jack was making an encouraging sound before Mac even asked the question, so he quickly undid Jack’s jeans and slipped his fingers inside his underwear, wrapping them around Jack’s cock… and god, he _was_ big.

Mac’s mouth watered at the thought of Jack inside him, and while that was something he had wanted anyway, it was even more tempting now that he knew how Jack’s cock felt in his hand. And Jack was so responsive, whining and thrusting forward into Mac’s grasp as he scrabbled at Mac’s jeans to get them open. Soon those calloused fingers were wrapping around Mac’s cock, stroking lightly, and oh _god_, it felt so good, Mac could come from just this… but that wasn’t what he wanted. “Oh god, Jack,” he moaned when Jack stroked him a little faster, and then he let go of Jacks cock to push his underwear as far down as he could and Jack got the message, kicking his jeans and boxer briefs down. “Jack, I’m-“ Mac gasped when Jack nipped on his lower lip before sitting up a little and pulling the rest of Mac’s clothes off as well. Once they were finally both naked, he kissed Mac again, both of them groaning when their cocks brushed together. “I want you to- please, fuck me, Jack.”

Jack shuddered on top of him, pulling back to brush Mac’s hair away from his face. “Whatever you want, darlin’,” he whispered, and reached for Mac’s nightstand drawer, pulling it open and finding the lube that was stashed there. He got some on his fingers and trailed them down to Mac’s entrance, rubbing teasingly before pushing the first one inside. Mac gasped at the intrusion, so much better than when he did it to himself, and clawed at Jack’s biceps, arching his back as it probed deeper. Jack pushed his finger in and out a few times before adding a second one, and then scissored them before pushing in deeper. He was mouthing at Mac’s jaw and neck, and after a moment he found Mac’s prostate causing Mac to let out a strangled whine when he nudged the spot a few times in a row. “Fuck, baby, the sounds you make,” Jack growled against his throat, biting down a little harder. “So fucking beautiful.”

Mac was pretty sure his face had never been this red in his entire life, but he didn’t care, not with Jack’s fingers teasing and coaxing him so perfectly. When Jack slid a third finger inside him Mac brought his hands up to frame Jack’s face and pulled him in for a filthy kiss. He shuddered when those fingers touched his prostate again, the feel of it like lightning up his spine. “Come on, Jack, I’m good,” he muttered against his lips. “Fuck me already.”

“So bossy,” Jack said teasingly, removing his fingers and kissing Mac’s cheek when he whined at the loss. He reached for the lube again, but hesitated, glancing back at Mac. “Condoms? I had my physical a few weeks ago, I’m-“

“Yeah, me too, I wanna feel you,” Mac cut him off, not caring if he sounded too impatient. He pulled Jack down for another kiss, shivering when he heard Jack open the lube again. Jack broke the kiss to pour some on his cock and then he settled between Mac’s legs, and after lining himself up he started slowly pushing in. Mac let out a long moan as Jack’s cock stretched him open, the feeling of fullness punching the breath from his lungs. He felt his eyes water but blinked through it, hugging Jack close and digging his fingers into the gorgeous muscles of his back. Once their hips were flush together, Jack buried his face in Mac’s neck, and his whole body shivered. “Jack?” Mac whispered, touching the back of his neck lightly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just…” Jack said, his lips moving against Mac’s skin. “Never thought I’d get to be with you like this.”

“I know, me too,” Mac muttered, turning his head and kissing Jack’s temple, and this whole exchange was very sweet considering their current positioning. After a moment Jack shifted on top of Mac and then pulled his hips back a little, carefully thrusting back in, repeating the motion a few times, each thrust a bit harder, but still slow and gentle. It felt so good, the steady push and pull making heat pool low in Mac’s belly. He let his hands drift down to Jack’s ass and hung on, moving his own hips to meet each thrust. When the head of Jack’s cock hit his prostate he cried out brokenly, biting his lower lip before he said in a trembling voice, “Harder, Jack. I’m not gonna break.”

That made Jack groan loudly and he bit Mac’s shoulder before drawing his hips back almost all the way until only the head of his cock was buried in Mac… and then he slammed back in, hard enough to move Mac up on the bed. Mac let out a loud scream, the air knocked out of his lungs, but he didn’t get a chance to catch his breath, because Jack started pounding into him relentlessly, apparently done holding back. “J-Jack, Jack, oh god,” Mac gasped, moving his hands to grip Jack’s shoulders as Jack continued fucking his fast and hard. 

One of Jack’s arms slid under his back and he lifted him a little, bracing himself on one forearm, and Mac could only chant Jack’s name, his hips slamming into Mac so hard he would probably bruise, but he didn’t give a fuck. “That’s right, baby, that’s it,” Jack growled, biting Mac’s collarbone, sparks of pain only making Mac shout louder in ecstasy. “Scream my name, let me hear you.”

“Oh, oh, _Jack_,” Mac shouted, yelping with every thrust, and then before he knew it he was coming. It was a full body experience, heat flashing through him as his eyes rolled back in his head, nails biting into Jack’s skin. He felt himself clench down on Jack’s cock, and then Jack was burying himself as deeply inside Mac as he could and coming too, groaning against Mac’s ear as he filled him up with his come. His hips kept twitching and grinding forward to the point where it was almost too much, but Mac loved it, loved how it made him whimper and squirm underneath Jack’s weight. Just as he thought he was going to pass out from how good it felt, Jack’s hips stilled and he collapsed on top of Mac, burying his face in Mac’s neck. He was panting heavily against his skin and after a moment Mac forced himself to lift his arms and wrap them around Jack. He was staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, not able to form words yet, feeling like half of his brain had just been fucked out of his head.

He wasn’t really sure how long they had been lying like that, but eventually he turned his head to press a kiss to Jack’s temple and murmured, “You okay?”

“Baby, I ain’t never felt so good,” Jack told him, lips moving against Mac’s throat.

Mac laughed breathlessly when he heard that, hugging him close and rubbing his hand up and down Jack’s back. “I love you, Jack,” he said, nuzzling his short hair. “That was amazing.”

“Mhmm, you weren’t so bad yourself,” Jack mumbled, and then he was rolling them over, slipping out of Mac as he rearranged them so Mac was lying on top of him with his head on Jack’s chest, right over his scar. “Seriously, I’ve had my fair share of sex and it’s never been like that.”

Again, Mac felt himself blush, because… he knew Jack had been with many people, way more than Mac, and to hear Jack say that… it blew Mac’s mind. “I know. It’s never felt like this,” he whispers, because it was the truth, that was easily the best sex of his life. He snuggled closer to Jack, the slightly accelerated but steady thump thump of his heart sounding in his ear. The fact that Jack had rolled them over just like that, without Mac even having to ask… it made his own heart almost burst with how much he loved him. He placed on of his hands on Jack’s scar and a moment later Jack grabbed that hand and entwined their fingers together while his other hand slowly slid down Mac’s back… and casually settled on his ass, not doing anything, just resting there. Mac snickered all the same, and when Jack asked him what was funny he said, “Nothing, I just didn’t know you were such an ass man.”

“Only for you darlin’,” Jack teased, squeezing his ass cheek as if to punctuate that statement. He planted a kiss on Mac’s forehead. “But you know I mean that, right? You’re the only person I want, full stop.”

“Me too,” Mac said, tilting his head back to look at him. “You do realize you’re never going back to your apartment, right?”

Jack didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching Mac’s face until he smiled widely. “You wanna keep me hostage here, hoss? If that’s your way of asking me to move in with you then I like it, it’s very you.”

“You make it sound like I try to keep people hostage on a daily basis,” Mac grumbled in response, but he also couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s a hell yes, obviously,” Jack said, squeezing Mac’s ass again. “It would be nice if you let me go back to get my stuff, though.”

Mac grumbled again, pretending to be irked by the idea just to hear Jack’s laugh. He stroked a hand down Jack’s side, turning an idea over in his mind a few times before voicing it out loud. “So this is probably a super weird thing to bring up right after sex,” he said, chewing on the inside of his lip. He sat up a little, so they could be face to face, and rested his forearm across Jack’s chest so he could prop his chin on it. “Do you think… should we tell my dad? About your heart?”

Jack looked at him for a moment, the look on his face growing… maybe not sadder, but more serious. He also moved his hand up from Mac’s ass, resting it on the small of his back instead. “I think… I think he deserves to know,” Jack said quietly, his thumb absently rubbing Mac’s skin. “From what you told me it sounds like… like your mom was everything to him.”

“She was,” Mac whispered after a moment. “She was what you are to me. She grounded him, made him focused… made him so happy.”

“Then I really think he should know. I think…” Jack trailed off, and Mac saw him swallow. “I think I’d want to know.”

“Okay,” Mac said, thinking some more, debating how they were going to approach this. “Tomorrow’s Sunday… he visits her grave on Sunday afternoons. He… I went with him last week.” It was the first time in a while that Mac had gone to visit his mom, and going with his dad instead of alone had been both better and worse somehow. It was nice to have company, but their shared pain had been palpable. “He’s a lot like me, though… I’ll print out that page in your medical records, so he can see it himself.” He paused and leaned in to kiss Jack’s cheek. “She would’ve loved you.”

“You think?” Jack asked quietly, something vulnerable showing up on his face. “I’m… I sometimes wondered, you know. If the person I got the heart from would… I don’t know, approve? It sounds silly, but…” Jack shrugged a little, a troubled look in his eyes. “I’ve done so many bad things, Mac. And I… I sometimes couldn’t help but think that I didn’t deserve that second chance. And now that I know it’s your _mom’s_ heart…” He swallowed hard. “From what you’ve said she was such a good person and I’m… not.”

“Jack… you _are_ a good person,” Mac said, and he held up a hand before Jack could protest. “I know you don’t see yourself that way because of what you’ve done for your job, but think of all the other things you’ve done. You put yourself on the line to protect me every single day, and you’re basically a dad to Riley. I’ve seen you help little old ladies across the street, for Christ’s sake. People aren’t all bad or all good, Jack, and when you were a scared teenager who needed a heart you had no way of knowing what your life was gonna be like.” He kissed Jack on the mouth this time. “My mom would’ve understood all that. She… she was selfless like you, and kind like you, and passionate like you.”

The look on Jack’s face softened and he tugged Mac for another kiss before h pulled him down so that Mac was back to lying on his chest. “She sounds amazing,” he murmured into Mac’s hair, and Mac smiled a little, his chest tightening like it always did when he thought about his mom. “Wish I could’ve met her.”

Mac slipped his arm back around Jack’s middle and squeezed, a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He listened to Jack’s heartbeat, which he was now sure sounded exactly like his mom’s once had. “I think… maybe you kind of did, in some weird way. Between getting her heart and then meeting me…” He shrugged. “I just hope she’s… that she’d be proud of me, you know?”

“Baby, are you kidding me?” Jack looked down at him incredulously. “You’re so amazing, of course she’d be proud of you. You’re so smart and so… so selfless and wonderful, and you’re literally out there saving the world.” Jack’s hand started slowly stroking his back again, up and down. “She’d be so proud, darlin’.”

Mac felt the smile on his face widen as he snuggled deeper into Jack’s embrace. “I hope you’re right. And I hope… I hope my dad doesn’t take the news too hard. I mean, if it wasn’t for him putting us together you and I probably never would’ve met.” He sighed. “Which is something I had to work out for myself in Nigeria – I hated the idea that he was meddling in my life while pretending to be gone, but at the same time… he gave me you. And I can’t really be mad at him for that.”

“You have a point,” Jack said quietly. “But all of our friendship, hidden feelings… we did that on our own, he had no way of knowing how our partnership would work out. And maybe… you know, I’m not so sure about us never meeting, maybe we would’ve run into each other.” He gave Mac a light squeeze and Mac’s heart fluttered pleasantly. “And about his reaction… I don’t know, man. I’m about to tell him I have his wife’s heart inside me, it probably won’t be pretty.”

* * *

To say Jack was nervous about going to the cemetery the following afternoon was an understatement. From Mac’s place it was about an hour’s drive into the hills outside Los Angeles, and eventually they arrived at a sprawling graveyard surrounded by tall trees and wrought iron fences. It was beautiful, surprisingly cool and shady, and as soon as Jack parked the GTO Mac knew where he was going. He reached for Jack’s hand and squeezed his fingers like he knew the printout from Jack’s medical records was burning a hole in the back pocket of Jack’s jeans, and together they headed for a row of headstones near the back portion of the cemetery. Once they came over a small rise Jack could see James already sitting in front of a headstone that said _Camille Anne MacGyver_ in stately script. He and Mac stopped a ways away, and Mac squeezed Jack’s hand again. “You sure you’re okay doing this alone?” he asked quietly, looking at Jack with concern. “I can come with you.”

Jack looked at James again and then shook his head, leaning in to kiss Mac’s cheek. “No, this is… I need to do this alone. I’ll be fine,” he said just as quietly, and then he was the one to squeeze Mac’s hand before letting him go.

Slowly, he made his way towards James, making some noise on purpose, and once he was close enough James turned around. His eyes immediately widened in surprise before he frowned a little. “Dalton? What on earth are you doing here?”

“Hey,” Jack said quietly, fiddling with his fingers, a very unusual gesture for him, and he saw from the look on James’s face that he noticed. “I’m… there’s something important I need to tell you and Mac said I’ll find you here.”

“And it couldn’t wait until Monday?” James asked, his eyebrow raised, but he didn’t sound mad, so Jack forced himself to stay calm.

“Not really.” He waited for James to gesture at him to continue before speaking again. “I’m… I’m guessing you know about my health condition, right? The-“

“The heart transplant, yeah, I’m aware,” James interjected before smiling wryly. “I’m assuming you finally told Angus since he’s lurking behind that tree and watching us right now.”

“Yeah,” Jack said with a small nod. “It led him to asking Riley to hack my medical records, so that he could read it all himself.”

To Jack’s surprise James actually chuckled, glancing behind Jack’s back where Mac was waiting. “That sounds like Angus.”

Taking a deep breath, Jack slowly took out the piece of paper out of his pocket, fiddling with it a little. “The thing is… he discovered something, something I had no idea about. And I… I think you deserve to know.” He held the paper out to James, who took it after a moment’s hesitation. “When I had the transplant done I was sixteen, which you already know,” Jack continued, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, because otherwise he was just going to keep twisting them until they popped out of joint. “But what you don’t know is that I didn’t ask the name of the donor. I should’ve, but a part of me felt like… like I didn’t deserve what I was getting, so I didn’t want to linger on it any longer than I had to.”

James unfolded the paper once Jack was done speaking and read down the page; Jack could tell when he reached his late wife’s name, because every part of him went still, he wasn’t even breathing. His hands trembled, and he brought one of them to cover his mouth, tears welling in his eyes. He stared up at Jack, and for just a second Jack saw Mac instead. “You… you have Cami’s heart?” he asked in a small voice.

Jack’s heart – Camille’s heart – broke when he heard the way James had said her name and the endearment. It was… unsettling, seeing James like this, so emotional and with tears in his eyes – Jack was used to him being a boss, usually put together and not easily affected by anything. “I do,” Jack said quietly, not really knowing what else to say. “I’m… I know this is… a lot. And if you wanna hate me, or hit me, go ahead, I won’t stop you, but… I thought you should know.”

James stood up quickly, and Jack braced himself for a blow… however, that was not what happened. He hugged Jack tightly instead, and Jack was so shocked that for a second he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to do in this scenario, but he tentatively returned the embrace. “I’m glad it was you,” James said, his voice rough with emotion. “If… if she had to die, and she was able to help someone after, I’m glad it was you, Jack.” And while Jack’s brain was making a futile attempt at processing _that_, he heard more than saw Mac come over and stand next to them – and then he was in the hug too, crushed between Jack and James.

To be honest, Jack had no idea what to do next, but he wrapped his arms around two MacGyvers and held them. He would know what to do with one, the younger one, but James? He wasn’t sure how to proceed, so for now he just waited. After a moment they slowly pulled away, untangling from each other, and while Mac wasn’t crying, there was this vulnerable look in his eyes as he gave Jack a small, shaky smile. James in the meantime was still standing close to Jack, his hands twitching before he raised one of them in a similar way like Mac had yesterday. Jack didn’t need him to say anything to know what James wanted to ask, and while getting his shirt off in the middle of the cemetery probably wouldn’t be a great idea, he took his jacket off instead and handed it to Mac. “Go ahead,” he told James quietly, smiling encouragingly at him.

Mac put the jacket on instead of holding it, which… was interesting, and Jack would ask about it later. James didn’t even seem to notice, too busy staring at Jack’s chest. He cautiously placed his hand over Jack’s heart, no doubt able to feel the ridge of scar tissue through his shirt, and when he felt Jack’s heart beating under his fingers he shut his eyes. They stood like that for a while, and eventually James seemed to come back to himself. “Thank you, Jack. You didn’t have to… with the way I’ve treated Angus in the past, you had no obligation to tell me.”

“You’re right,” Jack said simply, remembering what James had told Mac in that burning lab. “But Mac told me how much she meant to you and…” he trailed off, briefly glancing at Mac before looking back at James. “If that was me, if I… lost the person I loved and had a chance to… I think I’d want that. So I didn’t want to take that chance away from you.”

James smiled as he looked from Jack to Mac and back again. “So you two finally figured it out, huh?” he asked, and it took Jack a second to realize what he was referring to. When he did, he actually felt himself blush, and it only got worse when he felt Mac’s fingers slide into his.

“That was the other thing we wanted to tell you,” Mac said with a smile.

Before Jack could think twice about it he blurted out, “It was?”

Luckily that made both MacGyvers laugh, and James moved his hand to Jack’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you two.” He raised his eyebrow when Jack’s mouth dropped open a little. “Did you figure I’d react badly?”

“I’m… well, I mean… maybe?” Jack stuttered out, cursing himself for sounding like that. He tugged Mac closer – he, a trained operative, a former Delta, was pulling his boyfriend closer to use as a shield just in case, Jesus Christ, what was happening. “We’re not exactly your typical couple, you know.” He didn’t mention the age difference out loud, not wanting to put any ideas in James’s head.

“Do you have any idea how old Cami was when we met?” James asked, and out of the corner of his eye, Jack could see Mac trying and failing to hide a smile. When Jack shook his head, James continued, “I was working as an adjunct professor for a couple semesters at UCLA. I was… oh, probably Angus’s age, and she was a freshman, just turned eighteen. It would be a little hypocritical of me to criticize you, don’t you think?”

Jack moved his lips a few times while no sound was getting out, and he was aware he must have looked ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. “I think you broke him, dad,” Mac said teasingly after a moment, snapping Jack out of it, and when he looked at him, Mac was watching him with an amused look on his face. “Come on.” Mac grinned and tugged Jack closer to the headstone, wrapping his arms around Jack’s middle and resting his head on his shoulder. “Jack, meet my mom.”

“Cami, I think you’d approve of this guy,” James said, squeezing Jack’s shoulder and smiling wryly. “In fact, you might’ve liked him a little too much, maybe I’d have something to worry about.”

“_Dad_,” Mac said, mortified, and Jack could definitely relate – he didn’t think he had been redder in his whole life.

James shrugged, his smile growing. “What? Are you saying you _don’t_ think they would’ve bonded over fast cars and baseball? Your mom was the biggest Dodgers fan I ever met.” He glanced at Jack, and repeated the same words Mac had said the night before: “She would’ve loved you.”

Jack felt his throat tighten and didn’t say anything, worried it would have come out all choked and betray how emotional he was feeling right now. “You’re right, they absolutely would’ve,” Mac said softly, and Jack could hear a smile in his voice. “And probably would’ve ganged up on me for setting so many things on fire and blowing shit up.”

“Oh, there’s no doubt about that,” James said, chuckling a little. “Cami never forgot a single time I exploded something without meaning to, and she never failed to tease me about it.” He leaned around Jack to give Mac a hug. “I’m gonna take off, give you guys a minute with her… but, Angus, I meant what I said earlier. Thank you for doing this.”

“You’re welcome, dad,” Mac said softly, and he watched James walk away before he squeezed Jack’s hand. “You okay? You seem a little shell-shocked.”

“I’m… I’m okay, baby, I just… I didn’t expect it to go so well. All of it.” Once he was done talking he punched Mac’s shoulder lightly. “Next time you’re planning to tell someone we’re a thing, warn me, would you?”

In response Mac just snickered and leaned in to kiss Jack’s cheek. “I’d say I’m sorry, but the look on your face was priceless.” Jack pretended to be annoyed, but it wasn’t really working since he couldn’t stop smiling at Mac. “What do you say, wanna head home?” Mac asked after a moment, squeezing Jack’s hand again, his beautiful blue eyes watching Jack lovingly.

“Actually…” Jack started. “Would you… would you mind givin’ me a minute?”

Mac looked surprised, but he took it in stride. “Yeah, sure, of course,” he said, and he let go of Jack’s hand, reaching out to touch Camille’s sun-warmed headstone for a moment. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to – the expression on his face conveyed how much he loved and missed her. Then he headed back toward the GTO, and it was just Jack, alone at the grave of a woman he had never met… but her heart beat in his chest.

“Hi, Camille,” he said quietly, surrounded by the silence of the cemetery. He had so much he wanted to get off his chest, but now the words wouldn’t come. “I just… I wanted to thank you. If it wasn’t for you I never would’ve met him. Mac, I mean,” he said softly, his heart feeling heavy. “You’re half the reason he’s in this world and… well, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn't have lived long enough to find him. So… thank you.” Jack took a deep breath, looking down at the headstone and thinking how unfair it was. “But you should know that… if I could, I’d do anything to bring you back. Back to him. He misses you so much, but I’m sure you know that.” He felt himself get choked up again and he cleared his throat. “I’m… I hope you’re not disappointed by how I’ve lived my life so far. For years now it’s been revolving around Mac, so I hope you approve. My heart – our heart is in his hands now, how funny is that?” Jack smiled shakily before touching the headstone just like Mac had before. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t set himself on fire by accident, yeah? Both of them,” he added the second part more quietly. He patted the headstone one last time before straightening and taking a step back. “I’ll see you soon, I’m sure. And I’ll root for the Dodgers for you.”

He walked back to the car, taking his time, enjoying the cool breeze and the peace and quiet. Mac wasn’t inside the GTO but leaning against the front bumper, his nose shoved under the collar of Jack’s jacket. He was dappled by sunlight filtering in through the trees and absolutely gorgeous, and when Jack approached him he practically beamed. As soon as he was close enough Jack pulled him into his arms and kissed him on the mouth. “You okay?” Mac asked, his arms coming up to twine around his neck.

And Jack smiled, and for just a moment, he swore he felt a second heartbeat alongside his own. “I’m perfect, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


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